Use " praise " Replace " reprimand "

Use " praise " Replace " reprimand "
Author: Wang HuiJun does mother's possibility and experiences such a scene: As you in order to wash, burn, wipe it when this kind of housework is up to one's eyes in work, the child in the family cries and screams at this moment each time, wail and often " develop " quickly In order to get angry, what is running carefully is shaking and accusing of the car, become harsh and unreasonable empty a sudden " guided missile " in a short time on the carpet . What's the matter with the child? What he felt was only originally: I have been aired aside! Then, " war of attrition " among the once mother and son Fire: Mother enraged tries to obstruct not advising the behavior of the child shouting oneself hoarse: The child, contained and feels confused for one's own hope, or the attention that can arouse mother for one's own naughty behavior is complacent. In this case, even very competent mother. Often can't dissolve the child's temper, have with " military force " finally either ,In order to get the temporary peacefulness. Then, this kind of " war " Can avoid? All right, and the method is very simple: Do not reprimand 99% of the naughty behaviors; Every good thing of praising the child for doing as much as possible and every advantage which he has; Form the dangerous behavior to punish child or others only to those. This method has already been adopted far and wide by psychological scholars of world children. Its principle is tolerating (naughty behavior) With paying attention to (good conduct) . For example, a child throws out his building blocks without care everywhere, so long as has not caused the danger, the parents permitted " Tolerate " . Here, the information that you transmit to the child is that " I do not agree to your behavior ". Once he stops throwing out the building blocks without care, parents express and " pay attention to " And praise: "Oh, you keep the building blocks well! Do really well: You stop for me in " the educational pattern carried on around child's behavior that this is, and the high-pitched shout "! " "instruct and guide type " Obviously different, it can come out by initiation enthusiasm and initiative of child, rather than parents let does any ability anything. Here, what the psychological scholar emphasized is the parents' " pay attention to " . Why is psychological health to the child of parents' attention very important? Get parents' protection when while thinking, the approval obtaining parents constantly is the child's natural instincts. Only in this way, they will have sense of safety and self-confidence, but the prerequisite is to need to let them feel this kind of parents' loves. But child unable to realize the intersection of adult and the the intersection of collection and love in the heart, they need parents' expressing in such a manner that they know how. " pay attention to " (everything that they do) It is this kind of clearest showing, they can find it from parents' language and face expression that loves. So, they think when there is too little attention that you pay, they will have a kind of sense of insecurity. Then, they can only arouse your attention in a manner to get angry, this is that it has attention of emotion color to obtain parents that all children make the naughty and behavioral real purpose. But run into child, make, let the intersection of you and unable to endure any longer thing of making trouble by some, can you go with it too? ! Certainly, this is very difficult, but you can try: Pretend to be deaf and dumb: Keep silent, though you make one's blood boil, or else warm fire weave in the repeatedly in silence " unless you stop, strike desk, otherwise I will not speak to you " Wait, does not contact with the child's eyes while speaking. Generally speaking, so long as the child under the age of 8 ignores him for one minute, this kind of stalemate will be dispelled, the child's behavior will be restrained to some extent. Once the child stops naughty, praise immediately, must not neglect. Certainly, let parents down most, it is the child that may know " play the same old trick " ,Even more and more fiery, this kind at most can only keep 1 week while being repeated, you must " stretch out the fist, beat " Idea institute lure,in case that all that has been achieved has come to nothing. If the child of the temper convenient to use can not get parents' guide, so. He may be that the future relying on is strong to take advantage of the weak pupil, it is stolen that one is teenaged, even construct the husband of despotic power excessively. But the behavior can be moulded, once you begin to tolerate the naughty behavior to some extent, your child will become happy; Once you praise for and approve, that was reciprocated to you will be more praise and approval. Vice versa. Transfer to selecting from " Popular Medicine " from drgama.com

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